Jo is on a weekend break in Paris with girlfriends. Harry is at his grandparents house. This leaves me with a weekend on my own at home. So, what am I doing?
I'm on retreat! Using MP3s of talks by Shenpen, regular meditation periods, slots of 'Work' practice ( in the Gurdjieffian sense of the word) while doing the housework and eating a good veggie diet. It's my own retreat for the weekend.
I'm reading 'Don't Push the River' by Barry Stevens. She writes about exploring herself, about approaching reality, authenticity. She worked with Fritz Perls, the 'father' of Gestalt Therapy.
I read the book on the train home from work this evening. I looked out of the window at the fields, sheep, sun and clouds. I felt inspired, I felt frightened, I felt like I don't want imprisonment in this 'personality'...and how hard it easy to live in a real way, not pushing against the river not straining against what actually is.
And I had lots I wanted to say but now it feels quite late after spending some time reading through some Integral blogs. It's good to feel inspired though. I'll come back and write some more soon.
Ah yes, that's what I wanted to say...something about not caring anymore about what anyone thinks. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say not letting my fantasies about what anyone might think, not letting that stop me from saying what I need to, and have to, and want to, say.
I read the book on the train home from work this evening. I looked out of the window at the fields, sheep, sun and clouds. I felt inspired, I felt frightened, I felt like I don't want imprisonment in this 'personality'...and how hard it easy to live in a real way, not pushing against the river not straining against what actually is.
And I had lots I wanted to say but now it feels quite late after spending some time reading through some Integral blogs. It's good to feel inspired though. I'll come back and write some more soon.
Ah yes, that's what I wanted to say...something about not caring anymore about what anyone thinks. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say not letting my fantasies about what anyone might think, not letting that stop me from saying what I need to, and have to, and want to, say.
On this warm, bright, fen morning I start again with a weblog. I have a desire to get things down and out into the open. Other stuff as well, dreams, thoughts, desires, hopes and fears.
The Mojo 'punk special' has no mention of Crass, which is odd. Interesting how the 'post-punk' bands (Gang of Four etc) are getting all the plaudits right now (and rightly so), while Crass are ignored. There's a story that needs writing here, Crass were incredibly influential, they changed people's lives, the way people thought and acted (for better and worse). The travellers of the 80s, the illegal raves, the anti-globalisation movement, you can trace the footprints of Crass in all these and more. The band had their faults, that's for sure, but my respect for what they said and, more importantly, what they did has not faltered since the late 70s when I first heard Shaved Women (still sounds great!).
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