sod Apple!

I just wrote a really good post, went off to Apple to get a link to the new sexy black Ipod I desire and WHAM! my browser collapsed in a heap. I thought Apple tech was so damn reliable? Sod that for a laugh.

I can't face rewriting it all over again. So here's a quick summary of what I had written:

1. Thanks to Ideological Putty for pointing me to Michelle Huneven's 'Jamesland'. A fine novel.
2. My MP3 player died last weekend after 3 years good use. I was going to write about how I want to purchase a sexy black IPOD but after the experience described above...
3. I'm on the wagon the whole of March
4. TV is generally shite but Curb Your Enthusiasm is wonderful
5. Go and download/listen to Sonic Youth's cover of Plastic Bertrand's Ca Plane Pour Moi. It really is a most enjoyable SONIC experience, play it REALLY loud and enjoy the sound of dreadful things being done to guitars, just what the doctor ordered.
   
6. My sitting for Jan: 947 mins, Feb: 431 mins. Not good.
   
   

Misterioso

There's a lot jumbling up in my mind as I reach the end of the month. This has not been an auspicious start to the year. Other than a regular meditation practice (and even that's been a bit iffy) I've failed to keep to any of the aims I set for myself on Jan 1st.

This is serious stuff. Every time I go back on an intention I weaken myself, I weaken my sense of integrity. The loss of integrity deadens my soul, shuts out awareness, draws me back from reality, what actually is, authenticity.

As a new month approaches I need to gather strength. I have set a short list of aims for March, I will keep to these, no matter what.

To trust in awareness

I sat this morning, in a state nearing concentration, for thirty minutes. At some point, early on in the mediation, I noticed myself drifting off towards sleep, so I opened my eyes and fixed my attention on flame of a candle. To my surprise I found that I was immediately aware of 1) space 2) silence 3) a general sense of physical 'heaviness' and 4) that my 'thoughts' had slowed down and felt 'further away'.

I've not experienced this before. In the past my concentrated states have felt more 'gluey', as if my attention is 'fixed' onto its object, like velcro or a magnet.

So, this was my first concentrated sit of the year and if I've learnt one thing from this rather barren patch it's to keep on keeping on! One just has to sit, through 'good', through 'bad', the instruction is to sit, follow the breath, stay with it, quite simple, no right or wrong, just follow the instruction. SIT.

Author! Author!

I'm really enjoying 'Labyrinth' by Kate Mosse, it treads similar territory to Dan Brown but Ms Mosse can actually write, which is a relief.

One slight irritation with the book was when Mosse gives us the name of the band her heroine is listening to on her Ipod - Nickelback, I mean, please! This does not create a good impression and makes me a little bit less emphatic with the main character.

What does Nickelback say to you? To me: banality, boredom, dullness, aching dullness. So why risk alienating your readers by naming bands?

On the other hand, if I'd read:

'and Alice settled back to listen to Throbbing Gristle'

I'd have thought "well, that's my kinda gal!" You know, kinda left-field, slightly anti-establishment, eclectic and all that.

Or even:

'and Alice settled back to listen to an Integral Naked interview'...hmmm, maybe not.

Calm abiding...

1. I absolutley love this track by Jenny Lewis (Rabbit Fur Coat - live), the song has a sweet, bewitching melancohly that stays in your mind long after listening (thanks to Ideological Putty for first bringing Ms Lewis to my attention).


2. My sitting practice reached a plateu just before Christmas. On the good side I reached the 30 minute threshold, on the bad side I'm unable to maintain any real concentration...though, of course, 'good' and 'bad' are meaningless concepts when applied to medtiation, all I can do is keep on keeping on


3. that's it for now, have to take HB to school.
   

Those cartoons

Segovius's response basically says everything I would, only more eloquently.